Our winners were: Amy Blackstone and Dawn DeBois. Each received two tickets to see The Underpants at the Penobscot Theatre this weekend and we hope they enjoy the show as much as Melanie did (she won't stop talking about it...)
Amy and Dawn's winning stories after the jump....
Amy's Story:
Almost exactly one year ago today I drove to Quebec City with two friends for some weekend fun. Apparently we looked suspicious because when we got to the border crossing we were asked by Canadian officials to park and exit our car so it could be searched. Two border patrol guards tore the car apart -- they removed cushions, moved seats, pulled out all of our luggage and went through every item.
As we observed the search we saw one of the guards lean into the front seat and open the glove compartment. As that happened my friend who owns the car screamed "Oh no!" We looked at her and then looked in the direction of her mortified stare. One of the guards had just plucked a pair of underpants out of the glove box and was dangling them in front of his face (inspecting them? I'm not sure). Apparently they'd been in there for months after she'd removed them on the drive home from work one day because they were "too hot and itchy." The guard eventually returned them to the glove box and we were invited to proceed into Canada.
Dawn's Story:
On my way, on a recent day, to "the account" of all accounts
My boss was riding shotgun, which made it more pronounced.
I of course got lost, and did far too many U-Turns along the way
Thank God my boss laughed, instead of writing me up without pay.
Pulling into the parking garage with tears in our eyes
Deep breaths, trying to gather our composure, it took multiple tries.
Walking out of the parking garage is where the real story began
As my boss was looking around, and slammed right into a parked van.
Bent over laughing, hysterics abound
Couldn't believe she just did that, laughing without a sound.
"Stop it!" she said. "You're going to make me pee!"
Hmmm, thought I, well then you'd be joining me.
As a squirt leaked out, the damage I did not know -
Please God, please do not let it show!
Walking into the account, my boss completely unaware
I was quietly hoping I didn't smell like a pair of peed-in underwear.
Hello's and intros, a moment to wait for the Senior VP
"Could you direct me to the ladies room? I need to go pee."
Of course my boss followed me, needing to primp and get ready
Thankfully she didn't follow me into my stall, that would have been shady.
Damages assessed: the slacks were good the underpants were shot
So quickly they came off, I was now commando, why not?
Now to hide the peed-in underpants, the trashcan only had a mop
No trash to hide them in, darn, I couldn't just let them drop.
So I did what any smart businesswoman would do
I folded them neatly dry side out (this story is true)
And put them in my Dooney (what would you do?)
Through a lucrative lunch meeting, no one was the wiser
I'm very lucky though, that it hadn't been a geyser!
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment